If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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