This is not my ceiling
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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