Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
