They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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