i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize