There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
