Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
