I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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