he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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