Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
