I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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