Im at strip club and am horny
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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