Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
