So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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