just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
