i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
