I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Boobs are out for the taking
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
