the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
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I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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