im holly from the hills drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
