I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
