Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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