this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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