I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
