At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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