Jerry, you need to find god
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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