it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
