He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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