There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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