What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
