you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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