Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize