I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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