haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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