Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No subtext here. People are naked.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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