dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
They left me at home... I'm a liability
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
