i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How external is "for external use only"?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
