I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
