Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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