and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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