So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
