You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
