these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize