haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
