dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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