Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
