Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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