I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Welp...herpes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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