The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
