he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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