JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
