...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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