she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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