I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
