I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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