It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize