she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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