Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
