i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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